Nicole Robidoux

I have simplified the rules for my kids (4 + 7) and it has been working SO well for the past 6 months!

“Be Safe, Be Kind, Be Responsible”

That’s it! And these rules can apply to almost any scenario! Didn’t pick up the damn dishes or shoes again? “Oh! What are the rules? Can you be responsible for your property and pick that up? Thanks!” Oh! You threw your toy across the room? “Is that safe or kind or responsible? Yikes! That breaks all the rules! Let’s not do that again.”

It doesn’t work every time, but it’s working most of the time. On occasion I need to add warnings and consequences. But mostly, I show appreciation for when they do things that are safe, kind, or responsible and they feel proud.

Additional wins:
1) they have to understand the meaning of the words, pay attention and use critical thinking
2) it boosts my ego when the 4yo comes to me and says “MOM! 7’s not being responsible!” or expressing his feelings and says: “I’m sad because that wasn’t very kind”
3) this seems to increase emotional intelligence because they learn the impacts and describe them!
…no idea if I am more proud of them or me when this happens.

I can’t take full credit for this simple hack – I learned it in my 20’s when I was running a tweenage youth program (*it works with teens too!) Back then it was Be Safe, Be Respectful, Be Responsible. I just tweaked the middle one and think it sounds better.

…but then there’s also the days where laundry is still on the floor for the 5th day in a row, life feels like pure chaos, and I end up defaulting to the “lose my shit” method… and then I start up the guilty mom cycle. I do not recommend this as a strategy, but I’m imperfect too and we need to know how to work through those moments too.

If this happens, my new favourite parenting expert, Dr. Becky, has a great strategy and explanation for repair.

Listen to Dr. Becky’s TedTalk Here!

Enjoy!